Okay so there was this girl I got REALLY close to and at the time I was homophobic and I got scared and just cut her off completely. I ignored her and every time she tried to talk to me I acted really annoyed and pissed off. A few months later it kind of got under my skin because I realized how rudely I had acted for no reason what so ever but I thought I wouldn't have to deal with it because I was suppose to transfer schools. The next school year it turned out that I couldn't transfer and I was put one of the same classes as her and we never ever talk and things get kind of awkward when we are both in a group together outside of school since we share some of the same friends. I started to realize that she had a hard life and she felt like nobody liked her and people constantly make fun of her because she's not really the prettiest girl in the world and today I checked my yahoo and I saw she sent me a message with two little devil smileys saying that I wished I was as pretty as her. Now I don't mean to be a attention whore but I'm not ugly and I am a very confident person so what she said din't really affect my self-conscious but it affected the way I thought about her. I don't know if i would be mad or sympathetic to her.
Yet, I regret how I acted towards her. I admit I was extremely rude when she really needed a friend but I feel like where silent enemies now and I really do what to apologize but I feel like something is holding me back. Maybe its the fact that I was wrong or maybe its just the fact that I actually regret something I did but I'm not afraid of regret. I think its good to regret things in life because that shows that you are mature enough to realize that you have done wrong and this will remind you that you shouldn't do it again.
Now that I think of it, I might apologize even if she did say a mean thing about me, maybe that's just her way of letting her feelings out and I can understand that. I don't want us to necessarily be best friends again but I hate it when people hate me. I at least want you to have mutual feelings for me.So I'll apologize to her in person one day, maybe not today or tomorrow or even next year but I will one day, some day.
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